So it’s time to spice things up! Sex is getting monotonous and it’s a no-brainer as to why. You’ve shagged each other in the bedroom in every position possible, and the bedsprings will never be the same.
You’ve left your marks on the sofa and even ventured to do it on the kitchen counter. We assume you also had a tinge of regret now needing to meticulously deep clean every surface before making waffles the next morning. So what’s next?
Bar the idea of broaching that awkward conversation of “Should we have a threesome” to bring some excitement back into your sex life. Why not take things outside for some crazy outdoor sex? YES! The outdoors isn’t just for nature enthusiasts having their millionth hike this year, or for vacation-goers who are crisping up in the afternoon sun, sipping on their seventh cocktail since noon. No, the outside holds the secret to your next sexual adventure! So, why not be one of those couples having sex outdoors?
So, Where Do You Have Sex Outdoors?
To us anywhere inside isn’t real outdoor sex. So no, doing it in the car won’t cut the mustard. We’re pretty sure your mind went straight to outdoor car sex as an option, and we don’t blame you, either. We agree it can be a great place to have sex in your parked car if you have the know-how.
But we know you want something more thrilling! Something a lot more exciting than being cramped inside your tiny Fiat 500’s backseat or bending over the car bonnet on a frosty night, don’t you?
Here are our top picks for the next place you should look at exploring. If you want to take it even further, then bring your kama sutra book and even your camera with you if you dare.
1. The Beach
“What a cliché” you might think, but think again! The beach is one of the most popular spots for public outdoor sex for a reason. And if it seems boring to you, then that means you haven’t used your full imagination yet.
Now for those thinking “Oh but the sand”, I would love to point you to aisle 15 where beach towels are on sale this week. Okay, they might not be on sale, but seriously, get one. If you don’t want to feel like you were masturbating with 12 grit sandpaper, a big beach towel is going to be a lifesaver. The most straightforward option is to do it on a towel, starting with a bit of beach foreplay of course.
Depending on where you go (yes it’s best to plan this out), you could be perfectly covered from prying eyes, leaving your screams of pleasure to be muffled out by the waves and loud seagulls.
One of the best options, that is, if you are somewhere more tropical and your balls won’t be receding from the cold, is to do it in the water. For this, you only really need to go waist-high, and be sure to wear loose-fitting bathing suits. Make sure that they are easy to ‘adjust’ (but not too easy to lose in the waves). A good tip is to match your grinding and penetration with the ocean’s undulation.
Wherever on the beach you decide to do it, the best option is to always choose a secluded one. You don’t want any non-leashed dogs sniffing at your crotch mid-session. Nudist beaches are an even better choice.
2. The Woods
Heading on a hike or to a music festival soon? This is the one time we will condone beating around the bush (pun intended) to have a great outdoor sex adventure in the woods.
Think of that feeling you get at festivals. The music playing way too loud, the feeling of the base reaching deep inside your soul. Now add the ecstasy of a mutual orgasm while being pinned against a tree in the woods. If the vibe from a music festival has never made you want to get doggied by someone then you are going to the wrong ones. Sorry, we love her, but watching Adele in concert won’t have the same effect.
The best choice is to go for a music fest where you need to camp over, making it easy to sneak off into the woods. Now unless you’ve stumbled upon some voyeuristic inclined festival (please send us the details if you have), then doing it under the seclusion of nature is always suggested. The thrill of it might be great, but please remember that getting caught could actually be breaking the law.
You don’t HAVE to be at a music festival to have sex in the woods either. It is a pretty good excuse though. Going for a forest walk and having the mood strike mid-hike shouldn’t stop you.
All you need is to take a few steps away from the path and find a thick bush to drop your pants behind. Knowing there might be other hikers walking only meters away from you is where the thrill is. And if it’s your first time in the woods, then you should know that packing an extra can of bug spray will be a good idea.
3. A High-Rise Balcony
What is more perfect for your next anniversary trip overseas post-covid? It has the same effect as doing it against a hotel window, but with the added exhilaration of being outside. Not to mention, possibly being caught having sex outdoors.
If the mood strikes you during the day, it is best to not even get naked and try out a way to have fully clothed outdoor sex. All it takes is to unzip his pants and lift your skirt up. In the evening, you can pretty much do as you please under the cover of the dark. Few things beat the thrill of being as loud as you want, for all who are awake to hear, while being pinned to a balcony railing.
This is also perfect for first-timers to anything outdoors. The hotel balcony includes an easy way to retreat indoors, should the thrill suddenly get too much for either of you.
Do you have any great outdoor sex stories? Or are you now more than ever ready to create some of your own? It was Bloodhound Gang who said it perfectly: it’s time to “do it like they do on the discovery channel”. So, put your swimming trunks on and take a dive into each other’s warm waters. Oh, and don’t forget to ask for a room with a balcony to enjoy the view with “benefits”!